Single, Ready to Mingle?

Hey RADster! Happy Valentine’s Day a.k.a. LOVE DAY!🧡🧡🧡

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Yes, technically every day is love day. Today shouldn’t be the only day you show your loved ones you love and care about them; this should be done on a regular basis, if not daily. I also believe that today is the day the world gets the opportunity to COLLECTIVELY celebrate love. Personally, it is encouraging to see love, real love, be so openly acknowledged and celebrated. If you don’t already know, I am a hopeless hopeful romantic. I look forward to the day Prince Charming sweeps me off my feet and carries me away into the sunset on his Horse as the world watches.

On this Valentine’s day, like many others, while many make public declarations of their deep love for their Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Husband, or Wife, there are others with deep longings, desperately wondering “when will I get to do this?” Among those longing and wondering, a small percentage are either being bombarded with the question “When will you get married?” or being outrightly accused “you are being too picky! Stop waiting for someone perfect. He/She does not exist!”🙄

If you or anyone you know are on the receiving end of these statements, feel free to refer your inquirers here. This might help redirect their questions and statements.

During a recent conversation with a friend, he mentioned how the women in his life have long sought to match him with a “nice lady ” because he was not getting any younger. I mean I knew we single Ladies hear this a lot; however, it was interesting to hear it from a Man’s perspective. As I stated in the blog post I linked above, just because someone is single does not mean he/she is ready for a relationship or marriage. “Ehn? What else is next for someone who has been single for a long time?” Soo much more –> click here

In commemoration of Valentine’s day, love, relationships, and marriage, when you identify a single man or woman in your circle who is seemingly “ready for marriage,” ask him or her “Are you single ready to mingle?

Here are some more qualifying factors to consider before entertaining the thought of marriage (take notes, matchmakers).

  1. Singleness: The most obvious factor of all! While I’m sure there is one John Doe out there somewhere willing to argue the possibility that a person need not be single to marry, we will leave Johnny-boy to the Lord. A normal (morally and ethically sound) person knows that the prerequisite for marriage is singleness, plain and simple.
  2. Wholeness: This might seem like a contradiction to # 1, but it is rather complementary. Wholeness is critical in singleness (“single-hood”). Contrary to popular belief, wholeness does not come from being joined to another human. Sorry Jerry MaGuire… you don’t complete me; God does that. Wholeness comes from being joined to The Godhead; abiding in Jesus. Jesus said in John 15:5 “I am the vine and you are the branch. The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit because without me you can do nothing.” One of my favorite verses confirms this message: “For in Him we live, move, and have our being…” Acts 17:28 
  3. Emotional Availability: Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt lonely and you were left to wonder how that’s even possible? Here’s one possibility, the person with whom you are in a said relationship is emotionally unavailable. While he/she may be physically close, he/she is emotionally distant. This person is not willing to be vulnerable or transparent, which severely bruises connection and intimacy- very important components of any relationship.

“How can I tell if someone is emotionally available before hooking him up?” You can ask questions about his previous relationship and what he’s done to process the breakup. Do those questions seem invasive? Well, in this case, maybe you need to reconsider being involved in such a personal part of his life in the first place🤷🏾‍♀️.

 4. Financial Capacity: Money money money moneeeey moooneey! Yup An individual’s relationship with his/her finances should first be established before he/she is looking to connect or become attached to another person. Is the candidate financially responsible? Is he/she sustainable financially? Does he/she understand spending/saving habits? Is it under control? These are questions that need answers people, on both sides!

 5. DESIRE: Does this person even WANT to be involved with another? No, seriously does he or she want this? I’m almost certain people seeking to play matchmaker do not even consider this possibility. Feel free to prove me wrong (drop a comment below). I’ll share from personal experience, I have been in a season in which I absolutely did not desire to be in a relationship with a man, zero, not a soul. Why? Because I knew within me that I wanted my time to myself, to spend with God, and to work on ME! Wholeness is important to me, as it should be for everyone. So is emotional availability. (See points above). These factors are so critical to foster any relationship worth having.

Consider yourself for example, when you desire something, recall how you put your best foot forward and give the pursuit of that thing everything you’ve got right. The same applies here, the desire or lack there of in a relationship can either make or break it before it even begins. When anyone approaches me with a potential suitor in mind, I ask this question “did he personally express to you that he his ready to pursue a relationship or is this coming from his Mother?” This question is so important because in its answer lies the intent of and commitment to what may be a budding relationship. Say it with me: “Desire matters!”

As I am sure you’d agree with me, there are many other qualifying factors for any single person to be considered eligible for marriage. I hope I’m not misunderstood as being against matchmaking, I am not. I would simply prefer that matchmakers have a better vetting process on behalf of their beloved Singles. Miss me with the “So what if God wants you to marry before you have these things in order?” That will not fly on these parts of the globe. My God wants GOOD for me, He won’t set me up like that😌. 

Let’s chat: What are some factors you think are critical to be eligible for marriage? 

Here is a clip you might like:

Cheers to celebrating love and here’s to building more loving relationships!


I’d like to provide an opportunity to those who are yet to meet with Jesus. If you have a deep desire to know Jesus and enter into the kingdom of God you are in great company. I did at some point in my life, and it was the greatest desire that God ever met! 

I invite you to pray the sinner’s prayer: Dear Jesus, I accept that I am a sinner and I confess my sins before you. I believe that you died for my sins and rose again to give me a new life.  I ask that you forgive me of my sins; cleanse me with your precious blood which you shed on the cross of Calvary. I accept you as my personal Lord and Savior. Fill me up with your Holy Spirit and strengthen me. I profess that I am a new creature; old things have passed away and I have become new in You. Thank You, Lord! In Jesus’ name, AMEN!

If you prayed the prayer, WELCOME TO THE KINGDOM FAMILY!! You are a new creature, the old has passed and the new is here! Be sure to find a bible believing, Spirit-led church in your city and purchase a bible in a version that you understand. I use the  New Living Translation, Message, Free Bible, Christian Standard Bible, or the New International Version. Enjoy the journey!

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